Monday, December 31, 2007

Episode 31

The pledgees of Zeta Phi Beta sorority and the pledgees of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity are being taught by their big sisters and big brothers respectively.

KIM - Okay, Pledgee Too Much Lip, give me one first.

(MIYA stands up.)

MIYA - A Zeta first, the big sisers of Zeta Phi Beta sorority incorporated are the first organization to organize a chapter in Africa.

KIM - Pledgee Too Short, give me another.

(ADA stands up.)

ADA - A Zeta first, the ladies of Zeta Phi Beta sorority incorporated are the first sorority to be constitutionally bound to a fraternity... the big brothers of Phi Beta Sigma fraternity incorporated.

LARRY - Pledgee dumb ass...

JASON - Larry!

LARRY - Just kidding man, damn. No sense of humor! Number two, tell me which Jewel wasn't declared a founder at first.

MARTIN - Big Brother They Call You Big Illy! The founder is Big Brother Jewel Eugene Kinkle Jones!

QUINTON - Wait a minute...

(Everyone focuses on QUINTON in the back of the room.)

QUINTON - What was that question?

LARRY - I asked which founder was not considered a founder until much later on.

QUINTON - What? How was he not considered a founder?

LARRY - You didn't know?

QUINTON - Uh no... is this some kind of joke Larry?

LARRY - First of all... they call me Big Illy... Big Willy...

QUINTON - Shut up fool and get serious!

LARRY - Clearly you should stick to African history because you don't know Alpha history. Jewel Eugene Kinkle Jones was not considered a Jewel until later on... the nineteen fifties to be exact. He was one of the first initiates.

(QUINTON leans over to BOBBY.)

QUINTON whispers - I didn't know that!

BOBBY whispers - Shit! Me neither!

KIM - Give me another first Pledgee Beans and Rice.

(TAMMI stands up.)

TAMMI - A Zeta first, the big sisters of Zeta Phi Beta sorority incorporated are the first organization to centralize all of their operations in a national headquarters.

LARRY - That's why I said we need to have a history lesson for bros as well as Sphinxmen. For real Jason.

(JASON just nods.)

LARRY - Anyway, number one. Tell me one of the things Alpha is known first for. And don't give me that easy shit, we are the first fraternity.

FRANK - Big Brother They Call You Big Illy... Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity is the first fraternity with a chapter at both a white university and a black university.

(JASON stands up and motions to LARRY to follow him out of the room.)

LARRY - Okay, yall chill for a minute, dean wants to see me in the hall. Don't chill, just chill!

(LARRY laughs as he follows JASON out.)

KIM - Pledgee Odorfull, give me a Zeta first.

LAUREL stands up.)

LAUREL - A Zeta first, the big sisters of Zeta Phi Beta sorority incorporated are the first organization with a youth auxillary organization.

SHARONDA - Miss dean, let me holla at you real quick.

KIM - Okay. Hey pledgees...

PLEDGEES - Yes Miss Dean the Blue Pledgees Dream!

KIM - Sing something while me and Big Sister Blue Fergie talk.

PLEDGEES - Archonians we are... sisters to be... our journey is long... its not easy you see...

KIM - What's up?

SHARONDA - Can you send one of them to my room to get my Physics book? And maybe get some food on the way back?

KIM - Yeah, that's cool. We got some time before their workshop.

JASON - Hey man, I love your history session. You seem to be teaching them things that even we don't know.

LARRY - I don't know why that is. Its all in the history book.

JASON - Good, that's my question. Do you have a history book here so we can go along with you?

(LARRY smiles.)

LARRY - Why, you don't believe me?

JASON - It aint that dude, but I need to brush up on a few things myself.

LARRY - I took notes from my book but I didn't bring it. If you want, we can send Martin to go get it.

JASON - Yeah, let's do that. And we can make him make a food run too.

SHARONDA - Pledgee Lil Cousin...

(Nobody moves.)

KIM - That's right Miya! You better not respond to that name! You're Pledgee Too Much Lip and you only answer to that!

MIYA - Yes Miss Dean the Blue Pledgees Dream.

(SHARONDA laughs.)

SHARONDA - Okay okay, Pledgee Too Much Lip. Here, take my keys and go to my room. Right on my bed is my physics book and a red notebook and a green notebook. Grab the textbook and grab the red notebook and bring them here.

MIYA - Yes Big Sister Blue Fergie!

SHARONDA - And go to Mickey D's and get me and your dean something to eat.

LEAH - Oh I aint hungry?

SHARONDA - Yeah, get all us something!

JASON - Boys...

FRANK & MARTIN - Yes Dean Hazin' Jazin'!

JASON - Martin... go to Larry's room and get a history book. Then stop by McDonald's and get me a number five. And take orders from the other big brothers in the room. Get them what they want too.

MARTIN - Yes Dean Hazin' Jazin'!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PRESIDENT BRYCE is in his office. He is reading through a few documents when his phone rings.

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Yes.

RECEPTIONIST - Sir, everyone is here.

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Thank you Sharon, I'll be right in.

RECEPTIONIST - Yes sir.

(He hangs up and signs off on the document that he was reading.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE thinks - It'll be good to see Dr. Myers.

(He stands up from his desk and puts on his suit jacket. He picks up the paper that he signed and places it into a folder. He takes the folder and walks out of his office.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Sharon, here's that ammendment.

SHARON - Okay I'll send it right over.

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Thank you.

(He buttons his jacket as he walks toward the large conference room. He pushes through the mahogany double doors into the crowded room.)

DR. GRIFFITH - Hello sir.

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Hey Jeff, how are you doing?

DR. GRIFFITH - Good sir, good.

(The president shakes hands as he walks around the room to the head chair. Then he sees DR. MYERS.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Doc, good to see you. How are you feeling?

DR. MYERS - Much better thanks. And thank you to everyone for your cards, phone calls and prayers.

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Absolutely.

(PRESIDENT BRYCE sits in his chair and everyone pulls up to the table. They all turn their attention toward him.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Ladies and gentlmen, its good to see you all. Thank you for convening for this very special and momentous occassion. As you all know, Dr. Myers has been ill so its good to see him back.

(Everyone smiles and claps. DR. MWATSUMI pats DR. MYERS on the back. DR. MYERS waves around the room.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Everyone here has received the letter.

DR. FLOYD - Yes we did and I vote it down!

(Everyone laughs at DR. FLOYD. PRESIDENT BRYCE laughs as well.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Well I appreciate that sentiment Peter but it is time for me to move on. I have thoroughly enjoyed all the drama you folk bring me on a daily basis.

(Everyone laughs.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - But its time.

(He smiles.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - So with that being said, we all know why we're here. We have two candidates who are qualified and interested in carrying the mantle of Ahpla University. You know who they are, you work with them They are your colleagues and friends. The first, Trustee Melinda Ferguson.

(MELINDA smiles as everyone in the room claps.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Mrs. Ferguson has served the university faithfully as a trustee and her committment is honorable and sincere.

(He smiles at her.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Second is the good Dr. Colin Mwatsumi.

(DR. MWATSUMI waves and smiles.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Dr. M has served the university as both trustee and professor. He is like a statue on campus, he's not going anywhere!

(Everyone laughs.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - If everyone is ready, we can hear the remarks from the candidates now.

(Both MELINDA and COLIN start to get their papers together.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Do you have a preference as to who will speak first?

(DR. MWATSUMI looks up and smiles at MELINDA.)

DR. MWATSUMI - Oh please, ladies first.

MELINDA FERGUSON - Oh no, thank you. Please Colin, go ahead.

DR. MWATSUMI - Oh no, I wouldn't hear of it. Please, go right ahead.

MELINDA FERGUSON - On the contrary, I will follow you.

(They are both sarcastically smiling at one another.)

DR. MWATSUMI - Uh... no. Be my guest.

MELINDA FERGUSON - No... you first.

(They both start to lose their smiles.)

DR. MWATSUMI - Please... go!

MELINDA FERGUSON - You first!

DR. MWATSUMI - No!

MELINDA FERGUSON - Yes!

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Stop it stop it! You two are acting like children!

(silence)

MELINDA FERGUSON - Sir, I don't think we're acting like children at all. Just extending a courtesy.

Dr. MWATSUMI - Yes, only adults here sir.

(They both smile at him.)

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Colin, come on up. You're going first.

(MELINDA smiles and quickly sticks her tongue out at COLIN. His face grows sad.)

DR. MWATSUMI - But.. but I don't wanna go first.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pledgee Too Much Lip (MIYA) and Pledgee Number Two (MARTIN) have gone to complete their assignments.

MIYA - I'm getting sick of this mess! And as soon as I cross, the first thing I'm gonna do is kick Sharonda's ass!

(MIYA wants to mess up SHARONDA's room but better judgement prevails.)

MIYA - I can't wait til I cross!

(She grabs the books and runs out the door.)

MARTIN thinks - Where the heck does Big Brother They Call You Big Illy keep his history book? Oh wait, there it is!

(MARTIN grabs the book. He pages through it quickly, then remembers that he has to detour for McDonald's.)

MARTIN thinks - I better get going!

(He runs out the door.)

MIYA thinks - How the heck am I supposed to buy all this food! I'm glad Laurel slipped me some money but damn, it was only like ten dollars! I won't have enough!

(MARTIN stops by his room to grab some cash. He makes it a fast stop then is on his way.)

WORKER - Hi, welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?

MIYA - Um... yes. Can I have a number one, a chicken tender combo and fish filet combo meal?

WORKER - I can take you over here.

MARTIN - Oh okay. Can I get a number five, super size.

WORKER - Okay.

MARTIN - Also, I need two apple pies and a big mac.

WORKER - Is that big mac a meal?

MARTIN - No, just the sandwich.

WORKER - That will be eleven seventy nine.

MIYA - Eleven seventy nine? Dag!

MIYA thinks - I have to get everything! Um...

(She hands the ten dollar bill to the worker and starts to search her pockets.)

MIYA - Um... um...

(MARTIN looks next to him and sees a girl strugling, looking for change. He notices her attire.)

MIYA - I know I have...

(The worker helping MIYA sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes.)

MIYA - Um... how much do I owe you?

WORKER - A dollar seventy nine!

MARTIN - I got it.

(MARTIN hands MIYA's worker two dollars.)

MIYA - Thank you!

MARTIN - Hey, no problem. Um... are you on line?

(MARTIN's statement catches MIYA off guard. She immediately looks up at MARTIN.)

MIYA - Um... I don't know you! And no!

MARTIN - Yes you are... look I am too. Maybe we can help each other.

MIYA -I don't know what you're talking about. Thanks for the two dollars, now leave me alone.

MARTIN - Oh okay. Fine.

(MARTIN turns around.)

MARTIN - Oh shoot! Greetings big sisters!

(MIYA spins around and locks up quickly.)

MARTIN - I knew it! Looking for big sisters huh?

MIYA - Will you shut up!

MARTIN - Look, I know you're pledging... I can tell. I'm sayin' I am too! Just listen, we can help each other somehow. I know we can.

(MIYA's food comes. MARTIN's comes too.)

MIYA - I see they got you buying lunch!

MARTIN - And its a good thing too because you would've been a little short!

(MIYA smiles.)

MARTIN - Does that mean you owe me?

MIYA - Hell no... but you got my attention.

MARTIN - Okay come here.

(They both grab up their bags of food and walk to the side.)

MARTIN - Look, I'm Martin and I'm pledging Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity incorporated. What about you?

MIYA - Zeta Phi Beta sorority incorporated. My name is Too Much... I mean Miya.

MARTIN - Boy, they really got you huh?

(MIYA smiles.)

MIYA - Yeah.

MARTIN - Well look, let's exchange numbers. In case we ever need one another.

MIYA - Okay hurry up, I gotta go!

MARTIN - Just tell me your number, I'll remember. My brain is working in overdrive right now!

MIYA - Six six seven, four five one three.

MARTIN - Got it!

MIYA - Good luck!

MARTIN - So when I call you, I'm just gonna say its M. That way you will know its me.

MIYA - Okay M.

(MIYA smiles.)

MARTIN - Hope to see you soon.

MIYA - Yeah. Thanks again.

MARTIN - Oh I'll collect my payback later.

MIYA - Oh really?

MARTIN - It might be after we both cross, but we shall see.

(MIYA smiles a flirty smile.)

MIYA - I don't know if I'll be allowed to hang out with an Alpha.

(They both laugh.)

MIYA - But we shall see...

(She grabs her stuff and starts to walk out.)

MIYA - We'll see Mister M.

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PJ and DEXTER step into JAHANNA's room and find GREGG pulling his pants up.

(silence)

PJ thinks - What the...

(PJ turns and quickly looks at JAHANNA then back at GREGG.)

DEXTER - What the hell are you doing with my sister!

JAHANNA - Dexter wait! No!

(DEXTER makes a move toward GREGG but JAHANNA steps in front of him and grabs him... GREGG stands up... PJ twists her rings around so they are on the outside of her fist. She punches GREGG in the face.)

GREGG - Hey!

(She goes to hit him again but he backs up, she misses and he grabs her.)

GREGG - Chill! Chill!

JAHANNA - Stop it PJ!

DEXTER - I'm gonna kick your ass!

PJ - Get off me!

JAHANNA - Everybody stop! Stop!

(JAHANNA slaps DEXTER across his face... hard.)

DEXTER - Ow!

JAHANNA - Stop it! Everybody stop!

(silence)

(GREGG is still holding PJ but everyone looks at JAHANNA.)

PJ - Man get off me!

(GREGG carefully lets her go.)

JAHANNA - Look! I'm sick and tired of yall acting like I can't speak up for myself and live my own life!

DEXTER - Hell naw! You need to...

JAHANNA - Shut up!

(JAHANNA screams because she is so emotional. Everyone stops and listens.)

JAHANNA - You're the worst one!

(She turns to DEXTER.)

JAHANNA - You're one of the reasons I wanna leave this damn place!

DEXTER - Me?

JAHANNA - I am not your little experiment that you can tell what to do all the time! I am a grown woman Dexter and you need to get that through your thick skull!

DEXTER - Maybe you if you stop acting like a child...

JAHANNA - The only child here is you! And you...

(She turns to PJ.)

JAHANNA - I am too through with playing your side kick okay!

PJ - What?

JAHANNA - I am tired of coming up second place to you!

PJ - What are you talking about and what's this got to do with anything?

JAHANNA - PJ, you decide everything we do. We never been on equal status. Everybody sees me as your little shadow and I am sick of it!

PJ - That's so not true!

JAHANNA - Yes it is! Look at how you barged in here! I told you that I was busy but you two pushed your way in here anyway!

(PJ looks at DEXTER.)

(silence)

JAHANNA - That's the reason I wanted to leave Ahpla in the first place! To find myself and get my own identity! But right now, you two can leave! I don't need yall trying to tell me how to run my life, who I can be with, and who I can sleep with for that matter!

DEXTER - Obviously you can't make good decisions by yourself.... you got this nigga up in your crib!

GREGG - What you wanna do man! You talk a lot of shit!

DEXTER - I bet I back it up though nigga what!

JAHANNA - Shut up! Both of yall! Dex I'm gonna need for you to bounce and I'll call you!

DEXTER - Me? You gonna keep this nigga in your room and tell me to bounce?

JAHANNA - Yes! Get out!

DEXTER - What's the deal with that!

PJ - Well I aint goin' nowhere...

(JAHANNA turns around and looks at PJ surprised.)

PJ - ...until you justify to me messin' around with a dude that I used to deal with!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DR. COLIN MWATSUMI begins his presentation.

DR. MWATSUMI - Fellow colleagues. Thank you for your attention. As you know, we are at a turn in the history and legacy of this great university. As we approach a new change in the course of this journey, might I remind you of where we have come from.

(He gets a serious look on his face.)

DR. MWATSUMI - This university was founded with vision. It was orchestrated with sound tenacity and purpose. It was built on a legacy and formed with an attitude of achievement and a destiny of success. It is on our shoulders that we continue to forge ahead with the vision of the founding fathers.

(He points to several pictures along the walls of the first presidents of Ahpla University.)

DR. MWATSUMI - It is with great minds like these that we must educate and stimulate the minds of our students. We must prepare them and place them into society not only prepared to deal with the career issues they will face but also the life issues that they will come in contact with. Ladies and gentlemen, it is here that my campaign for the presidency rests. We have an obligation to every student and this is where I will begin.

(He changes the page and starts to read his campaign breakdown.)

DR. MWATSUMI - My goal is to deal with every freshman with a semi hands on approach. Obviously because of time constraints I will not be able to place my hand in the hand of every single student and parent. But with welcome packets created by my fraternity brothers, the Iota Phi Theta fraternity incorporated, we can achieve the same result. Please pass these around...

(He passes to the people on his left and right a packet that they begin to pass around.)

DR. MWATSUMI - This is an example of a welcome packet. It was put together by my chief campaign manager and the person I would hold responsible for student life and activities on the student level. His name is Sean.

(Someone raises their hand.)

DR. MWATSUMI - Yes Dr. Johnson.

DR. JOHNSON - This packet... as I puruse through it, it looks good but my question is to the placement of things inside.

DR. MWATSUMI - Okay...

DR. JOHNSON - More specifically, the first page deals with extracurricular activities held here on campus... the fraternities... and your fraternity is listed first.

MELINDA FERGUSON thinks - Oh Lord!

DR. MWATSUMI - We always bombard our students with the educational pieces that they need. I think that is well understood and a given almost. We are a university. Our curriculum is clear and will be thrown down the throats of our students. I want a student to understand that there are life lessons to be learned here and life relationships to be formed that will be long lasting and life changing.

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Okay, so why Iota first? I think my fraternity brothers may not agree with that placement.

DR. MWATSUMI - Oh, nothing by it sir. We just listed last to first instead of first to last how it is usually done. So as you notice, Iota Phi Theta is listed first and Alpha Phi Alpha last.

(silence)

DR. MWATSUMI - Also we created packets for sophomores, juniors and seniors as well. We don't want to only have the freshman involved. But all students getting involved in organizations, extracurricular activities, homecoming activities, etc would go through the new appointed student office of life and activities created for Sean. Only because Sean is a well documented leader amongst his peers both educationally and socially. He is well respected and has worked for me in my office as well as my campaign tirelessly. All the students like this young man therefore I created a position on my personal cabinet for him and his social and extracurricular expertise.

(DR. MWATSUMI stops and looks at the president. PRESIDENT BRYCE is still looking through the packet.)

DR. MWATSUMI - If there aren't any further questions, that concludes phase one of my presentation.

PRESIDENT BRYCE - Thank you Dr. M. Mrs. Ferguson?

MELINDA FERGUSON - Thank you sir.

(MELINDA FERGUSON goes directly into her presentation.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - Distinguished trustees, I greet you and thank you for the opportunity. My presentation is along similar lines as the good doctor in regard to making a stronger presence felt on campus through the administration. I agree that we can no longer be stuffy executives in the administration building that the students feel no connection to nor ever hear from.

(She folds her hands in front of her and speaks eloquently and gentle.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - When I was a student here eons ago...

(Some laugh.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - I remember President Ogle when he was president. His wife Marea used to sing the sorority hymm with us on the yard. Can you imagine the wife of the president of the university singing on the yard with students? That is what I want to bring this university back to. Back to being family. Why are we proud that our basketball team does so well each year? Is it because we just love Coach Edwards that much or just love the school colors of black and gold? Or is it because the band makes us feel good during the games? Whatever the reason, it need to be because we are family. When we win, we all win. When we lose, we all lose.

(She opens a pink folder placed in front of her and starts to pass out papers.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - In an attempt to recreate campus family, my administration would focus on the whole family. In this sense, the role of female to male is in reverse order of course. So as president, I am the acting father figure of the family. The patriarch. My lead is vital to the very existence of the branches of the family. My decision making process affects even the smallest child in the lineage and future generation. My braintrust is you, my fellow trustees. We all need to be thinking as the father figure.

(She smiles with her next statement.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - I am sure you have all heard the expression that behind every good man is a good woman.

PRESIDENT BRYCE - I know my wife has heard it!

(Everyone chuckles.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - Well with that, I wish to also appoint a student to a leadership position not yet held on campus.

(She passes out another form.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - This position will be in an acting role similar to what Dr. Mwatsumi described for the young man that works his campaign. The difference is that this position will be an extension of the board of trustees on the student level. So although this individual would not be a trustee by right, they will be able to attend our meetings and conferences and give direct input from other family members... students.

(She waits a second... everyone is reading and following along.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - The reason I said that behind every good man there stands a good woman is because as I step into the role of...

(She makes quotation marks with her fingers.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - ...father figure... my back up and right hand wo...man will by my daughter... Mona. Mona will assume the position of undergraduate trustee and oversee all student run organizations... the student body government, the office of student life and activities, the fraternities and sororities, and the athletic department.

(MELINDA closes her folder, folds her hands on top of it and smiles at DR. MWATSUMI.)

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PJ - Well I aint goin' nowhere...

(JAHANNA turns around and looks at PJ surprised.)

PJ - ...until you justify to me messin' around with a dude that I used to deal with!

GREGG - All yall are crazy and I'm out! I aint got time for this drama and bullshit!

(GREGG grabs his shoes.)

JAHANNA - Wait... see now...

GREGG - Handle your business with your peeps J. Get at me later.

(GREGG walks out.)

(silence)

DEXTER - I can't believe you let that nigga up in here like that! Are you crazy? What were you thinking!

JAHANNA - Shut the hell up Dexter!

DEXTER - I should've kicked his ass! I hate that nigga!

JAHANNA - I said shut up!

PJ - You got some explaining to do sister!

JAHANNA - What!

PJ - Miss, I wanna be independent and grown... how you gonna deal with Gregg? You know me and Gregg have a past! Explain that... my sister!

JAHANNA - You call that a past? You were never his girl, ever!

PJ - That's only because Gregg is a liar and he had a girl already!

JAHANNA - No, face it! Its because he didn't want you to be his girl! If he wanted you to be his girl, he would've made you his girl!

PJ - You're stupid if you believe that shit! Gregg is a liar! That nigga can't tell the truth!

JAHANNA - You don't even know him!

PJ - And you do?

(silence)

JAHANNA - He wasn't your man PJ and you hate him now anyway so what difference does it make if I mess around with him?

PJ - Because girls don't do that!

JAHANNA - If he was ever your man, then he would be off limits to me! But he was never your man, and you claim to hate him! So be it. I won't invite you to my next cookout if he's gonna be there.

PJ - You making jokes but you bout to be in line for an ass kickin' yourself!

JAHANNA - What!

PJ - Girls don't do that to each other! Its a code! You are totally disrespecting me!

JAHANNA - With Gregg? You despise his guts! What do you care?

DEXTER - I can't take this anymore! Jahanna, you got a lot of growing up to do.

JAHANNA - Whatever!

(DEXTER walks out and slams the door as he leaves.)

(silence)

JAHANNA - You can leave too ya know.

PJ - So you're really gonna choose a man over me? After all our friendship has been through?

JAHANNA - I'm not choosing anything. Nothing would make me happier than to date who I want and have my best friend. If we lose our friendship right now, its because you are choosing it.

(silence)

PJ - Who was there with you when you cried your eyes out from not making line?

JAHANNA - PJ who was there for you when you cried your eyes out on line?

(silence)

PJ - Fine. Just know this. You may see yourself as some side kick or whatever to me. But that's never how I saw you. I saw you as my best friend and even when I crossed AKA, that never changed!

(PJ starts to walk out.)

JAHANNA - Guilt trips aren't very becoming Presjina.

(PJ turns back as she opens the door. They stare at each other.)

(silence)

(silence)

(PJ walks out.)

(silence)

(The door knob clicks as the door closes.)

(silence)

(JAHANNA sits on her bed and grabs a pillow. She holds it close to her body and starts to cry into it.)

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