Episode 27

BRENDON sneaks down the stairs of the Fine Arts department and peeks into the bandroom.

BRENDON thinks - Shit!

(He sees all the big brothers of Kappa Kappa Psi in the band room. They are talking. BRENDON looks around in the hallway to make sure he is alone.)

MARK - So how do we get it done. It's a lot of shit.

(BRENDON crouches down to the door. He listens.)

KAI - Okay bros, how much work is it? I mean exactly.

MARK - It's a whole lot.

KAI - I mean, more than the pledgees can handle?

MARK - Yeah. Probably. With only two of em now, there's no way.

BRIAN - You didn't tell them that did ya?

MARK - No. But it probably would be hard to do if Brendon was still around. Let alone now with just John and Tone.

KAI - Give it to em anyway.

MARK - I mean yeah, but we're gonna have to pick up the slack when they fail.

BRIAN - I aint pickin' up shit.

(Everyone in the room laughs.)

KAI - Aight so let's see all that it is.

MARK - Okay check this out.

(MARK pulls out a piece of paper.)

MARK - Okay we have to find and order bandanas for the entire band. We have to create four new cadances.

TROY - Four?

MARK - Yep!

KAI - Well I got one in my head that I'm figuring out. So don't worry about that.

MARK - Good.

KAI - But tell the pledgees they got all four to do. Fuck it.

MARK - We have to create a new logo for the band and a flier for the battle of the bands coming up. We still gotta get the new choreography.

BRIAN - Well that's different. We do that at practice.

MARK - True true. Well, we also gotta get the stickers done and make copies of all the booster forms.

KAI - Uh huh. Anything else?

MARK - Oh I aint done. We gotta check into new sound equipment and make it fit our budget.

TROY - Make it fit?

MARK - Bruh, make it fit. And we gotta send a letter out to Amgis.

BRIAN - What for?

KAI - For the drumline challenge.

MARK - And all this is do on Tuesday.

TROY - Tuesday! No way!

MARK - That's why I was saying that we're gonna have to pick up the slack on this stuff because there's no way John and Tony can do all this stuff. They already got assignments from us and Prof wants all this stuff done.

TROY - Prof knows that them niggas supposed to do this!

MARK - Yeah but who is he gonna blame when it aint done? Them? Hell naw, he gonna blame us!

KAI - You got that right! Shit!

MARK - And we aint even gave them this list yet. We need to find them dudes quick and get them on this so we can have it on Tuesday!

(The door opens. BRENDON turns and takes off running down the hall.)

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JASON is in REGGIE's room. REGGIE is studying but JASON has both FRANK and MARTIN with him in the other room.

JASON - Didn't I tell you to keep it down! My dean is studying! How he gonna pass his finals and graduate if yall in here making noises!

(JASON lightly pops MARTIN in the head.)

MARTIN thinks - Ouw! Shit!

JASON - Now start all over again. Its not like you didn't know this was gonna happen. Right?

FRANK & MARTIN - Yes Dean Hazin' Jazin.

JASON - Okay good.

(JASON sits back. Both FRANK and MARTIN are sweating profusely.)

JASON - Okay go ahead. And remember, I want it backward.

FRANK - We knocked on the door.

JASON - Go on.

MARTIN - We called you to find out where you were and where to meet you at.

JASON - Okay.

FRANK - We left the Kinkos and got the gold paper and the ink.

JASON - Uh huh.

MARTIN - We drove off after eluding Big Brother Oh Fuck.

(JASON laughs.)

JASON thinks - Bros are idiots!

FRANK - Big Brother Oh Fuck made me drive his car and MARTIN follow us.

JASON - Okay next.

MARTIN - We drove to the second grocery store.

JASON - Uh huh.

FRANK - We... um...

JASON - Okay stop. Wait a minute. I thought you bought the items in the second grocery store. Didn't you?

MARTIN - Oh... uh yes. Yes we did.

JASON - That's what I thought. See, yall messin' up again. Come here Frank.

(FRANK hurries over.)

JASON - Hold this.

(JASON hands FRANK a book. FRANK places the book on top of the stack of books he is already holding. He has been holding a stack of books for what seems like hours.)

JASON - Yall gonna have all kinds of knowledge if you keep fuckin' up! I'm about to run out of books!

(silence)

JASON - Alright, we gotta start over again. And we're gonna keep doin' this until you get it right. I want the story of why you didn't complete my simple, easy exercise on time. You come in here late, way after the deadine and I told you this would happen. Didn't I?

FRANK & MARTIN - Yes Dean Hazin' Jazin.

JASON - I wasn't lying was I? I told you this would happen.

FRANK & MARTIN - Yes Dean Hazin' Jazin.

JASON - Okay, as long as you know I aint a liar.

(The door opens and REGGIE comes in.)

REGGIE - Dude, you gotta keep it down in here. These fools are too loud. I can't concentrate.

JASON - My bad dean. I told them to be quiet.

(JASON turns to his pledgees.)

JASON - Didn't I tell yall to keep it down? From now on whisper everything. Do you understand?

FRANK & MARTIN whisper - Yes Dean Hazin' Jazin.

REGGIE - Thanks bruh.

JASON - Cool.

(REGGIE closes the door behind him. JASON gets up out of his chair and walks to where MARTIN and FRANK are standing.)

JASON - Sphinxman Marty Mar, bend your knees man. Don't mess around and pass out on me.

MARTIN whispers - Yes Dean Hazin' Jazin.

JASON - And why are you guys sweating so much? And what's up with all this shaking and wobblin'? Come on man, be strong!

(JASON pulls the bottom of MARTIN's shirt until it rips. He then wipes FRANK's head with it.)

JASON - Now get yourselves together. I aint got no sympathy for pledgees that come back late from my assign...

(JASON's cell phone rings.)

JASON - You better hope this isn't more bad news! Last time bros called me it got yall's asses in trouble didn't it!

(JASON laughs as he picks up his cell phone off the desk.)

MARTIN thinks - God don't let this be big brothers again!

(JASON looks at the display and is startled at first. He hesitates and answers.)

JASON - Hello.

WILLIE - Hi.

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JOHN and TONY, pledgees of Kappa Kappa Psi are working on assignments for their big brothers.

JOHN - How long do you think this whole thing is gonna last?

TONY - I don't know, probably another fifteen minutes or so.

JOHN - No, not this... I mean this whole pledge process.

TONY - Oh. I have no idea. Every time I think we getting close to something, we seem to take two steps backward. Its weird.

JOHN - Yeah.

TONY - I been ready for it to be done though. Damn man.

JOHN - Me too. You ever regret it?

TONY - Hell yeah! I aint sign up for all this shit!

(JOHN laughs.)

JOHN - Yeah, I know what you sayin'. I just didn't want to be the only one feelin' that way and admittin' it.

TONY - I mean, I probably still would've done it. Because I've always wanted KKPsi. But damn man, I had no idea it would be this hard.

JOHN - I know. Kai is no joke.

TONY - Troy either. I guess looks are deceiving.

JOHN - Yeah. Who would've thought that cat would come with it like that.

TONY - But they probably saying the same thing about you.

JOHN - Me?

TONY - Yeah man cuz you come off as real easy going and layed back.

JOHN - I am though.

TONY - I know but you been handlin' your business on line. Its all good.

JOHN - I'm just trying to maintain man. Especially since Bren is gone now.

TONY - That's another thing. Who would've thought he of all people would dip like that.'

JOHN - I know. Crazy.

(silence)

TONY - Anyway, let's get back to cleaning this shit before we get beat down or something.

JOHN - No doubt.

(They continue to clean instruments until they hear the door open.)

JOHN whispers - Who's that?

TONY whispers - What the fuck! Nobody knows we're in here!

(They stand quiet and still until they see who walks in the door.)

JOHN - Brendon?

BRENDON - Hey guys.

TONY - What are you doing? How did you find us here!

BRENDON - Come on man, I'm the one who suggested this hiding place. I knew you guys would be here.

TONY - Well we aint got time to chit chat. As you can see we mad busy.

(TONY turns away from BRENDON.)

BRENDON - And you about to be busier.

TONY - What?

BRENDON - Look, I don't have a lot of time to explain this fully so listen up. I just snuck down by the band room and overheard the big brothers. They got like ten more assignments for us and if they don't get done, Prof comes down hard on them. So that means that they gonna come down even harder of us.

TONY - Us? Us!

BRENDON - T man I'm sorry okay? I shouldn't have left. I was frustrated and didn't know what else to do. But this is where I belong. This is where my heart is and this is what I want to finish with you guys.

(silence)

JOHN - I don't know man. I mean, how do you plan to get back in with the big brothers.

TONY - Fuck the big brothers, how do you plan to get back in good with us? How we know you aint gonna up and bounce on us again? How we gonna trust you to pull your weight?

(silence)

(BRENDON pulls out a piece of paper.)

BRENDON - Here's the list of things that the big brothers want.

(He hands it to JOHN.)

BRENDON - They want this by Tuesday.

JOHN - Tuesday?

(JOHN gives it to TONY.)

BRENDON - You know what Kai is gonna do if we don't have this stuff done right?

TONY - I don't even want to think about it.

(BRENDON snatches the paper from TONY's hands.)

BRENDON - You won't have to. I'll do everything on this list. I'll get it all done and prove to you guys and to them that I'm serious as hell now and ready to do this for real!

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MIKE is in MONA's room. They are watching a movie and talking.

MIKE - Look, do you wanna talk or do you wanna watch the movie?

MONA - Why can't we do both?

MIKE - Because you keep talking up at the best parts of the movie!

(MONA laughs.)

MONA - I'm sorry boo. I'll wait til its a boring part.

MIKE - There are no... nevermind. Just talk.

MONA - No no, watch your movie.

MIKE - No just talk Mona. It aint my movie, we were watching it together.

MONA - Okay!

(MONA is smiling and she picks up a paper that is next to her.)

MONA - Okay so you were saying Brendon?

MIKE - Yeah, Brendon.

(MONA writes something down.)

MONA - Okay... now I'm gonna say Sharonda.

MIKE - Sharonda? The Zeta?

MONA - Yeah.

MIKE - But that's your cousin!

MONA - I don't care, she still deserves to be shamed! She got into with me in front of my mother and I never forgave her for that! Then she poisoned my sister with the Z Phi B bull.

MIKE thinks - Good grief!

MIKE - Okay. Put her on the list.

(MONA writes something down.)

MONA - Your turn.

MIKE - Um... oh wait, put down Calvin the white boy! Definitely his ass! He got it comin' from me.

(MONA pauses.)

MONA - I don't know Mikey, you might wanna leave him alone. He may beat ya up!

(MONA winks at MIKE and smiles. He doesn't smile at all.)

MIKE - Not funny.

MONA - Sorry baby, I'm just playing. I'll write Calvin down for ya. He's on the list of shame.

MIKE - And I don't know why you laughing... you need to write down Jahanna. She punked you big time!

MONA - No she...

(MONA's cell phone rings.)

MONA - Hold on before I kick your butt.

(MONA checks her phone and doesn't recognize the number.)

MONA - Hello?

CARYN - I need you to come pick me up right now!

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JASON answers his cell phone to find that it is WILLIE calling him.

JASON - Hey wassup? How you doin'?

WILLIE - I'm good. How are you?

JASON - Cool.

WILLIE - You busy?

(JASON looks back at MARTIN and FRANK. He then turns around again.)

JASON - Naw I'm cool. What's up?

WILLIE - I just needed to talk. Where are you?

JASON - I'm up in Reggie's room.

WILLIE - Oh really? Maybe I can just swing by.

JASON - Actually...

(He looks back at MARTIN and FRANK. He angrily points at FRANK's stack of books which FRANK is barely keeping up. MARTIN tries to lean over and help FRANK.)

JASON - ...actually let me come to you. You at home?

WILLIE - I was on my way home. Just leaving the library.

JASON - Okay then I'll meet you.

WILLIE - Okay meet me right in front of Reggie's in five minutes.

JASON - Okay. Everything okay?

WILLIE - We'll talk when I see you.

JASON - Well tell me what's wrong.

WILLIE - We will talk when I see you.

JASON - Aight. See ya in five.

WILLIE - Bye.

(They hang up. REGGIE turns around to the Sphinxmen.)

JASON - Okay look, I gotta go meet somebody but I'll be back. In the meantime, I want you guys to clean up my dean's crib. I mean spotless! I don't want a speck of dust anywhere in this place. Keep your books up too! Understood?

FRANK & MARTIN - Yes Dean Hazin' Jazin.

JASON - And don't disappoint me this time! You know what happens when you do.

(JASON grabs his phone and walks out the door.)

JASON - Yo, I'll be back. I gotta run downstairs for a few but the boys are gonna clean your crib.

REGGIE - As long as they quiet. Thanks.

JASON - No prob dean.

(JASON leaves and hurries downstairs. By the time he gets out front, WILLIE is already standing there.)

JASON - Hey, wassup. Been waiting long?

(They hug.)

WILLIE - Naw, I just got here.

JASON - So wassup?

WILLIE - Come on, let's walk.

JASON thinks - Damn, something must be wrong.

JASON - Sure. You eat already?

WILLIE - Naw. We can go grab something.

JASON - Okay.

(silence)

JASON - So what's the matter? I know you didn't call me cuz you hungry. And you look sad.

(WILLIE turns to him with a concerned look.)

WILLIE - I just feel funny nowadays. Like, you ever feel like... like you're just gonna lose it all at any moment? Like you got so much goin' on... and then... its all gone.

JASON - I know how you feel. But you always got a good grip on your stuff. You aint gotta worry about that.

WILLIE - I don't know. I think I failed one of my sorors. She is just fed up and through with DST and I am trying to think of how I could've saw it coming and tried to prevent it.

JASON - Huh?

WILLIE - Long story. But I'm not doing my job. Ya know? I'm out front but if I aint handlin' the business at home, then what good am I?

JASON - What are you talkin' about? Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Where's the Willie I know? Cuz this aint her.

WILLIE - This is real though J, I'm serious. And it is what it is. Ya know?

JASON - I hear ya, just hard to hear ya. I'm not used to you sounding like this.

(WILLIE stops walking.)

JASON - What's the matter?

(silence)

(WILLIE turns and grabs JASON and they hug deeply.)

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MONA - What? Where are you?

CARYN - I'm out in the middle of fuckin' nowhere and my son is at home! I need to get back to him!

MONA - Wait wait... you're confusing me! Slow down!

MIKE - Who is that?

(MONA holds up her hand to MIKE.)

CARYN - Candace dropped me off at this convenience store! I spoke to the guy that works here! It's at Wilkinson and King Drive.

MONA - Wilkinson and King Drive?

(She turns to MIKE.)

MONA - Do you know where Wilkinson and King Drive is?

MIKE - Yeah, I know. Who is that?

MONA - Okay, so you don't have a ride home?

CARYN - Hell no! Hurry up! I need to get to my baby!

MONA - Okay, we're coming!

(They hang up and MONA jumps up.)

MONA - Mike come on!

MIKE - Wait, what the hell is goin' on?

MONA - That was Caryn! Candace did something to her and left her out in the middle of nowhere! She needs to get home to her baby!

MIKE - What! Are you serious!

MONA - Yeah! Come on!

MIKE - Damn yall be into some drama with a capital d! I love it!

(MONA and MIKE rush out the door and run down to her car.)

MIKE - Let me drive!

MONA - I drive faster than you!

MIKE - Like hell you do! Shut up and get in!

MONA thinks - Ooooh that's sexy!

(MIKE takes off and speeds on his way to where CARYN is.)

MIKE - I can't believe Candace came hardcore like that! Damn!

MONA - I told you before! She is scandalous! I told you! We gotta add her name to the list!

MIKE - We might have to put her name close to the top of the list!

MONA - Yeah but you wanna move on her that quick? We had a plan.

MIKE - Nevermind that, we need to get her first.

(MONA smiles.)

MONA - Oh look, there's the store! And there she is!

(MIKE pulls up and MONA gets out.)

MONA - Girl are you o... shit what happened to your face!

CARYN - Don't ask! Let's go! I gotta get home to Lil Derrick!

MONA - Oh my gosh!

(MONA goes to hug CARYN.)

CARYN - Bitch get off me with that emotion. Let's go!

(They get in and MIKE takes off toward CARYN's house.)

MIKE - What the hell happened?

CARYN - Candace pulled a fast one on me! She got slick!

MONA - She got more than slick! She got up in your ass!

MIKE - Damn!

CARYN - Shut up and hurry up.

(The car ride to CARYN's is quiet.)

MONA - I bet you can't wait to hold your son.

CARYN - Yall don't understand! This is the absolute longest amount of time I've been away from him!

(CARYN drops her head into her hands and runs her hands through her hair. Then she feels her face where it is starting to swell.)

CARYN thinks - Shit! Shit!

(MIKE pulls up at CARYN's house and she jumps out before he even stops. She runs to her door and drops her keys she's moving so fast.)

MONA - Come on Mike! Hurry up!

(MONA and MIKE run up as CARYN opens the door.)

LIL DERRICK - Mommy!

(LIL DERRICK runs from his toys and rushes CARYN to hug her.)

LIL DERRICK - Mommy! Mommy!

(As he approaches her for a hug, she pushes him away and knocks him onto the floor. Instead of hugging him, she rushes toward DONNA and pushes her hard.)

CARYN - You bitch! You told that bitch Candace about me and Nino didn't you! Didn't you!